Monday, August 9, 2010

4 months ago your pain and cancer stopped~~~






hi my baby boy and hero it has been 4 months today that god called your name. you became free of cancer and pain. since then mommy has been filled with pain actually my pain started on sept 1 2009 when we heard the most devastating news "your son has cancer". i still remember not breathing, crying, fallening out of the chair. our world changed that day. but our world foever changed on april 9, 4 months ago. i remember our constant cuddling in the hospital and out especially thye last 2 weeks at home. i miss you so much, i hope you have so many new friends and have found your family up in heaven. i still can not believe you are not here, we all miss you so much. i always talk about you, i hold your pooh pillow. no one is allowed but me~~~i know you are with me always and are always with sissy and daddy and betsy of course~~~gigi, pappy, nana, bapa, uncle joey (he poops)(sarah says that now to him always) aunt leslie and baby jameson miss you as well as so many close friends.
PLEASE KNOW I DID EVERYTHING I COULD WITHOUT CAUSING YOU MORE PAIN.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH AND LOVE YOU MORE THAN CHOCOLATE, MOMMY~~~~~~

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

I miss you so much, my heart hurts and will never be the same~~~

Hi baby boy, I am sorry I have not wrote to you in awhile. I think and want you so bad every single day/night~~Sarah and I went to visit gammy, we had a great time in th pool, the ocean, feeding turtles and so much more but esprcially loving your gammy but we all missed you so much. you would have enjoyed everything.
I am still so mad at god i wish i could find out why, why my baby that loved life so very much had to leave my arms. I know i will never get the answers until we meet again. I do know you are cancer free and pain free and you are running around again. i know you are constantly with me i can feel you and i believe you are one of the many butterflies i see constantly~~
Sarah still talks to you daily on the phone, she also sees brother in the back alot. i know you will always be there for her. she is 2 but she misses you so much, i will make sure she never forgets you.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER, MOMMY