Monday, April 9, 2012

my ethan my love gone 2 years today

ethan, my hero my heart. you have been gone 2 years but it feels like a million. i went to visit your grave as i know your spirit is not there but your remains are and i went a took you beautiful red roses with sissy. she helped me place them just so and then she played with your toys, she also misses you so much. she told me several times how she wishes you were here, she would have a best friend, and someone to play with all the time. my heart breaks for her as she is going through a loss just like daddy and i are. so many wonderful friends and family called, texted, messaged me or contacted me through facebook to see how we were doing, we are still hurt mad and ask why, but we do go on for sissy as you would want us to. also we go on and smile and are not miserable because you would not want us to act that way.

yesterday was hard while sarah and your cousins were doing the easter egg hunt, there should be 4 of you running around laughing and enjoying each other, but cancer robbed that from us as it did many many things.i am not the same person i was 2 years ago, my life actually changed on sept 1,2009 when you were diagnosed with cancer. i do get mad and i do get short alot easier with people that are dumb, but also i am doing good for you. daddy and i are speaking at the chp memorial service on how our marriage has survived the loss of a child, then i am shaving my head with the 46 mommas and i am fundraising for st baldricks with kadies mom, we have a team "team lovebugs" then come the fall we will be doing the curesearch walk. i talk to more people about things that need to be done.

i need to go check on sissy now and mommy has a cold but i will be back writing my thoughts to you.
remember i love you more than chocolate and as daddy would say that is alot.

love always your mummy~~!!!