Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Ethan, today marks the 1 year anniversary of your terrible diagnosis of stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma. i am having such a rough day, but i was glad a year ago i did not give up and i knew in my heart something was the matter with my sweet baby boy. looking back and during the 7 months you fought, i really thought you would be here today, loving life, having fun with your family and friends, but your little body could not beat this terrible nasty disease. i try to be strong in front of everyone especially your daddy and sissy~~~i would have taken this pain and disease from you if i could, but things do not work that way.i know you are the most beautiful angel up in heaven, doing gods work and i know each time you come to visit you are the most beautiful butterfly.
today when i went to your grave i left you beautiful petite pink roses with a special green ribbon and it said "ethan you are so beautiful. i miss and love you every day. love mommy" this is not a minute that goes by that i do not think about what we would be doing. sissy started preschool this week and it brought my dreams back to that you would be going to school also.
also i have noticed sissy has alot of you in her face, makes me happy. oh i just want to hold you, kiss you and bring you back. i wish i knew why god has to take the little boys and girls to heaven. i will never know. i love you so much~~it hurts!!!
remember i love you more than chocolate~~~
loving you always and wanting to be with you, mommy