Wednesday, April 28, 2010

mising you badly ethan bug~~~~~

Ethan hope you like the new pooh balloon i brought you today, also the grass is growing, also my heart and hands are longing for you. sissy came today for the first time, i explained how you were in the ground out of pain and no more cancer aka yuckies. she said so cute he brother blankie, i just looked at her, she said brother cold blankie. i just started to cry, whe ran to me and said hold like you always did and told me to stop and brushed my tears away. then this evening we were out towards the cemetary again so i asked daddy if he would stop, he said ok. see it was daddys first time coming since the funeral, he said the angel, little stone, balloon and blue pinwheel looked good. we cried together and both agreed it is not fair that we have to go see you , our baby boy, at the cemetary, you should be with us playing and loving life~~~

the last week has been so busy, we went to a pens game and were treated to dinner and tickets, the game lasted 6 periods. we did not win but i felt your presence their. i would look to where we sat on valentines day for the hockey game and cry, we had such a good time.
then saturday we still had the prom, we celebrated you beautiful life. there was laughter but there was also tears. in some pictures there is a circle that someone says means a spirit is there. well in one of the pics with me you must have been there on my chest, also in one with uncle joey there is a circle on his leg. i felt your presence~~~

today grammy went home , she had been here for awhile. she has been helping mommy get through this, she will be back to see us in june~~~sarah now calls her gigi, sarah keeps us all going these days. without her making us laugh and cry we do not know what we would do. we still call her sissy alot especially me. she talks to the pictures of you and the ones of you and her, she always grabs the phone and starts taking to brother~~she loves you so much, and i will make sure she never ever forgets you!!!

i love you so much baby boy,
even more than chocolate~~~

you mommy always and forever

~~mommy added a family picture and a picture of your beautiful sissy~~


  1. i bet she's talking to him
    i bet he talks to her kelly

    xoxooxooxooxooxoxooxoxoxo a million times.

  2. My heart is broken for you. My daughter was diagnosed with neuroblastoma 2 weeks ago. I can't give you much today through my tears but I am sending my love. XOXOXO